A sanitation officer on board the Death Star

Well, it was some stormtrooper's birthday last night and they were having a pizza party with cake and ice cream. The birthday boy eats a ton of crap, like five or six pieces of pizza, two or three pieces of cake, and a whole bowl of ice cream. When those guys want to pack away the food they can do it.

So the clones see this, but there isn't enough pizza and cake left for them to eat that much. What do they do? They start destroying the locker rooms and the lounge area and everything they can get their hands on. They're basically rioting until the officers bring in more pizza and cake.

Then it just gets insane. The officers bring in about two hundred pizzas and twenty big cakes for these guys and the clones just start tearing them apart with their bare hands. I have the security video of this. I've seen Rancors eating that wasn't as gross and they were eating people.

If you haven't figured out where this story involves me, stop a second and think about what happens when about a hundred identical dudes eat way more food than they should all at the same time. They carpet bombed the heads within a half mile radius of the barracks. Every toilet jammed full of stormtrooper loaves and too much toilet paper.

- Read the whole article here at somethingawful.